I was thinking about Halloween today. (Okay, I was primarily thinking of Halloween candy. Industrial size bags of it. Mmm). But it got me reminiscing on past Halloweens. I trick-or-treated every year until my freshman year of high school, when my mom said I was too old. I now understand why. I get so annoyed when trick-or-treaters knock on my door who are taller than me and are wearing lame, unoriginal costumes that took two seconds to throw together, unenthusiastically saying “trick or treat”…they might as well say “give me candy.” I have a rule for these types of situations. I simply don’t hand out candy to people who look they’re sixteen or older. Here’s my reasoning…those young-ins are now old enough to get a job. If you really want candy that bad, get a job, and buy your own candy. Ha!
I buy candy because I do sincerely enjoy passing it out and seeing all the costumes, but part of me always hopes that no trick-or-treaters will show up at my door so Ty and I can devour it all ourselves. OR I pass out all the starbursts and fruity candy first, so then if there are leftovers, it will all be chocolate.
I’m a terrible person aren’t I?? I can justify it this way: Halloween is sort of an “evil-themed” holiday anyway, right? So I’m not being a terrible person – I’m just being “festive”! ‘Tis the season!!
Remembering back to all those Halloweens I trick-or-treated, I had my own little set of traditions.
1. I always incorporated running shoes into my costume somehow so that I could run door-to-door, thereby getting more candy.
2. I also trick-or-treated with the largest pillow case I could find, thereby having more room for candy.
3. I would always have my friends or siblings dump out their piles of sweets onto the floor at the end of the night so we could make trades, thereby acquiring the best candy.
For some reason, I also never had “cute” costumes. The costumes I remember are as follows:
- a scarecrow
- a giant bag of jelly beans (weird. the first costume my mom ever let me pick out on my own and that’s what I wanted to be?)
- Pippy Long Stocking (I didn’t even know who she was at the time. I had just seen a photo of her with bright orange hair in braids sticking waaay out to the sides and decided I wanted to be her.)
- the floor of a movie theater
- bubble gum stuck to the bottom of a shoe
- a dead person from the Titanic (the movie came out when I was in the 5th grade and that’s what I wanted to be that year. This costume was complete with the life vest, face powdered ashen white, tattered clothing, and an old piece of wood that I held between my head and my shoulder like I was adrift or something.) Looking back, all my friends’ moms probably thought I was a dark, disturbed child.
One Halloween in college Tyrel was an obese ballerina.
And I was a really old lady.
The first Halloween Tyrel and I we married we were redneck folk.
Aww yeeeeah. We were hawt.
This photo graced the front of our Christmas card last year.
That photo, believe it or not, is not a Halloween costume. That was real life, folks. Yes sir-eee this photo was taken back in my competitive cheerleading days. The bow was required. The uniform was required. The glitter on my face was for “spirit” (encouraged, but not required). I came across it recently and thought it very appropriate to include in this Halloween post. No need to visit a haunted house this year, guys. This photo should just about do it for ya.
Now…off to go find some
CAAANDY *ahem* carrot sticks.