I have not blogged in ages, because once I started to get well I determined I didn’t want to be around the laptop for a while. A very long while. And as an accidental result, I have thoroughly enjoyed being a bit more “disconnected”, if you will. Rather than perusing pinterest or facebook on the bus rides home from work, I listen to music. I pray. I people watch. I use my imagination a lot. I have texting conversations with my sister who may very well be the most hilarious person on the planet. It’s been great. I have removed myself from my self-imposed sense of urgency to maintain contact with as many people as possible. And in doing so, I’ve realized some things.
1. I sincerely dislike being extremely busy. As a result, on Sundays, I generally turn my phone off and refuse to commit to anything. I spend quality time with Tyrel, rejuvinate, act silly, and am completely unapologetic doing it.
2. I need to not feel bad about how I choose to spend my time. For example, post-collegiately, I always seemed to carry with me a bit of guilt that I would still leave places early on the weekend nights so I could get a run in early the next morning…even if I didn’t have a particular race I was training for. Or if we had family or friends in town, I’d go to bed slightly earlier and miss out on a little extra time with them, so that I could get a run out of the way the next morning before the day started. It may seem odd to feel guilty about that, but I certainly did! [Tyrel has been a great sounding board in this area. He knows me well enough to lovingly point out when I’m taking a “good” thing in my life and turning it into a “God” thing. Because as I’ve learned, anything I’ve allowed to reign and rule over my life other than Christ himself, has turned out to be one sucky “god” that didn’t follow through with the promises of fulfillment and satisfaction that I expected it to.] With all of that said, I think I sometimes get guilt confused with conviction, which is why at times I probably unnecessarily “bad”. I appreciate the conviction I feel when my priorities are out of alignment, but as Tyrel just said a couple nights ago, I should never feel guilty for doing something I love. So I still wake up early to run, often making sacrifices to do so, and thoroughly enjoy the sport when everything else is in balance.
[That was a rambling, rather personal paragraph wasn’t it? Did that even make sense?]
anyway. moving on.
3. During this informal “disconnected” phase, I’ve spent a lot more time meeting with people face-to-face. There are so many people from Oklahoma that I fiercely love and sincerely miss, but while trying so hard to maintain in close contact with several people, it’s too easy to miss out on the friendships I have here. We don’t live in Oklahoma anymore. Washington is home now. So when I feel guilty for not having talked to “so and so” for weeks, I need to chill out and realize we’ve moved here for a reason. That reason wasn’t soccer like we originally thought, but the longer we’re here, the more and more we begin to see that God certainly had other reasons in mind…even better reasons come to find out! Go figure.
Blah blah blah…lots of talking. Basically, THIS:
I’ve chosen to be more purposeful with how I spend my time. Whether it’s turning off electronics and soaking in your environment, doing the things I love even if I feel selfish at times for doing so, or spending time with the people directly surrounding me in this adventure-filled life God has purposefully and lovingly placed me in …here in the Northwest corner of the United States. It’s for a reason. And Tyrel and I are making a purposeful effort to be present in it.
Sometimes you have to step away from things to see clearly, huh? (Especially if you’re far-sighted. Haha. Bad joke.)
Ooookay. Welp. That’s about it! Off to watch Home Alone with Ty and relish in the present moment.
Chillin’ out. A lot of things are simply not as important as we think they are.